Blog of a Forbidden Dreamer

I was never part of the stage; it has always been a part of me. A part that always left me feeling I was firm footed and that I have it in me to stand my ground, to stand and make a point, to express what is true and honest and to inspire. I could have always been a shadow among the audience who watched and applauded and criticized. I am not afraid to show my face and to let people know that it is me speaking or writing. I’ve always wanted to show them that it is I, one among them, who always walks with them or cracks jokes with them who is singing or speaking or dancing in front of them or writing for them to read and realize that it is in everyone’s capacity to do something amazing, to do something inspiring and artistic. People needn’t be an intellectual to be creative, to make the world a better place. Even the moon that is just a sphere of dust and rock becomes magical at night reflecting off the sunlight that falls on it. It wouldn’t have been this spell-binding and soot...

Pain!!! My innards screech for the sake of my powerless and lifeless vocal cords… They haven’t lived for a while. If the theories of evolution ring right, then probably I might evolve, like once the reptiles did; and my sound shall sink into abeyance. In that soulful silence my starving soul shall burningly eat into my last living cell for a knot of existence. And after that miniscule nanopart also wane away into exhaustion and in desperation send out to the already half-dead brain a parting, feeble signal of farewell; my heart shall stop beating and brain shall black out. The question is, will you leave my body, Soul? Or will you manage to cling on an hour longer waiting to imprint this death, all those reeling images from my past that my brain has been endlessly playing out in my inward eye since hunger began to ruthlessly claw fiercely onto my intestines, gashing them open for death? All those images from my happy-sad past? I remember my Professor, with a twinkle in his eyes a...

"Becoming" a stranger seems easier to maintain than "being" a stranger... The  former can be sustained forever and can be resumed time and again... The latter needs just a smile or a handshake or a word of recognition to break...

Book Blurb: Story of a girl Meera, who is unwittingly drawn into a conflict from where she finds it difficult to emerge unscathed. It's her journey from being a simple, medical graduate belonging to a middle class family to the uncharted territories of corruption and caste based politics. Her path is crossed by the two men, both compelling yet completely contrasting characters, who are forever going to change her life. If it is Aman who can challenge her ideals and defy her resolves, and makes her the person she finally becomes, it is Abhay's sublime love which enables her to go through the vicissitudes of life. It's also the story of her loss as well as triumph against her own demons to find her true self. Pre-order from Amazon About the Author: Dr.Madhu Vajpayee- the writer was born somewhere in those hospital corridors where she has spent the last two decades of her life. Witnessing life at such close quarters pushed her to c...

India has always nurtured, with at most tenderness and warmth, various religions and cultures. Unity in diversity was always a word to exhibit the impartial yet considerate affection of the land towards all its citizens. But currently the scenario had taken a radical shift, where boundaries cut through the land, bleeding and maiming it. Tagore's land of hope and love is bleeding, sliced by the barbed wires of religion- a system man himself constituted to structure society. Today, as man fall short of the understanding that religions were cultural constructs, societies and individuals grope in the darkness brought upon by the blinding veils of fanaticism. They tear apart each other and fight upon the claim to other's lives, even beasts and birds. The concept of Cow as the Mother is fine. It is, as per our believes a very reasonable one. Cows have literally helped civilizations prosper. But the claim to a complete ban on just cow meat... You can for yourselves see the cons...

It has been quite a while that i've given my blog a passionate attention. I take that my mind was busy fending off the tendencies of a troubled girl to slip into a reclusive mentality. Glad to say that I am out of it and the first thing that I thought of, was definitely, the reasons of my mind slanting for an option as a recluse in this highly socialized world. This idea does not come as news to any one of you who breath in this millennium. Hyper socializing is the new mantra and secluded rooms of gadget-abundance, the new haven...Thankfully, my cloistering was not related to hi-tech gadgets or enclosed dark rooms, but open space and lots of greens dabbed with colours. That rings as an oxymoron! but still that is the truth. Somehow the abundance of nature and the beauty i had to adore in the little breaks of a student's life pulled me into its clasps as soon as the summer peaked in, pulling away from people and the artificiality of the modern world. Nature has always been a he...

It has been identified that the human mind has a potential to classify things and order actions in order to process the world. In our day to day affairs these well-set order and sequential character of our actions define our existence. Routines have been a part of human life from time immemorial. We are all part of a routine and settle into the most comfortable one. When bored we wriggle free from one routine only to make a new one or to enter into an already existing one. This could be because of the routines we see in nature. The sun rises, sets, moon ascends into the zenith, wanes away, there is day and night, and so on. When trapped in a routine we will be in a constant strife to lose it, but it is also a notable fact that out of the routine we will be like a fish out of water deliberately trying for a new order, a new routine. Being part of a routine has become a habit.

Yet another women's Day arrives showering wishes and gifts on women. But will the general concept of women that are promoted so eagerly by the media be erased by one day of fiddling upon the power of women? A few days ago I watched in shock where a serial actress in a talk show was arguing about the power of women and out of the left came a blow  when she argued that women are designed to gossip! How eccentric! is that the power of women? Well i think she really needs to think if it is all that she does. Out of every duties of women we see household chores as the prime duty of every  women! If i am to seriously exclaim at such outrageous concepts i am pretty sure that i can go on exclaiming forever. Are women seriously designed to gossip? Grace and charm are thought to be bestowed on women and men should be rough and tough. All that i know from the religious concepts that were meant to shape a society is that male gods are usually passive and resort to sweet words and calm a...

Hello to this year and all the temporary happiness and unhappiness of this year,  I'm afraid your allotted time is fast ending. Its a matter of days now and I have got a lot to speak out to you. All those wonderful memories you sparingly showered on me was such true blessings that the sparingness ensured it was counted and enjoyed. Too much of the happiness would have been truly an overdose, it might have got lost. But, brilliantly you sent me a surge if sorrows good enough to clear out my tear valves and moisten my eyes quite frequently. You do take very good care of the eyes by the by. My friend count almost lost limits this year. I found some very extraordinary lot and realized the sincerity of many. I got to know my loved ones a bit more, which makes our bondings stronger this year. There were losses to me, but none equals the gains in unison. The days were bright enough and there was sufficient rain and sun to invest for the coming year as well. My days we...

  My paternal home was my playground during holidays where I would chase after birds and squirrels while Grandpa, a retired headmaster, tended to his plants. That day I was busy filling his ears with all the bads I could imagine about the teachers I hated at school. Homeworks were leaching out my play hours and palms were sore due to the ‘cane thrashings’. I stopped as I saw two men assisting Grandpa to cut off branches from my favorite Guava tree. “They cannot cut my tree! That is rude”, my eyes welled up with tears which did not go unnoticed. I needed explanation and that was certain. Grandpa replied that it was necessary, which obviously did not satisfy me. This is when my father stepped in and I knew that a scientific explanation was on the brew. He began that when the unwanted branches are chopped off the tree can concentrate on the main branches that give us fruits. And that by chopping off wandering branches the threat of the branches touching the electrical lines are ...

There are many occasions in life when nothing “seems” right and so, when everything turns out right our mind becomes instantly deeply irritated as we think into our past to realize that something grave is following. This is no intuition but mere experience or more correctly, beliefs. We have tuned our into such a frequency that it is always in a balanced state fluctuating between the satisfied and unsatisfied, never tempted to go in a straight line. This is exactly why we can’t attain that moment of spiritual bliss. It is because we ourselves torn between duties and desires. They can never make a perfect mixture. I guess that’s the law. Because, every time we want to bask in our desires fulfilling them, there comes the call of duty. Duty comes piercing deep into that bubble of desires. But the bubble doesn’t pop, that is the toughest part. It sticks on to the tip of duty and so nothing seems to satisfy us, but we painfully note that we lack what we want in spite of carrying out dut...

  Last day i chanced to hear two women conversing about an old lady on her death bed. The dialogue was a very sincere relief of one of the women that the old lady had nothing to worry about since she had even great grand children and that now she can die peacefully. I was literally shocked... Is having great grand children the only  goal in the world? If you have great grand children don't you have to worry about anything else? no more desires and dreams?? Does that mean that all of our life spend in toil was just to reproduce and nothing else!! such a blunder. How can life and happiness be calculated by the number of generation you have seen or created and the number of progeny!! It may contribute to some part of happiness and satisfaction but not all of it for sure. No one wants to bury their dreams and desires to think of reproducing. But i have to agree that majority of women still face this torture of the society; "born to give birth" i guess. 

Centuries ago when the true flourishing of civilizations took place the world without exception believed on the power of the female that created life. The female ruled the lands and men were mere subordinates ready to engage on all menial jobs and hard nut tasks.  Males were nothing more than concubines or servants. It was a ritual in the western civilizations that the concubine of the Queen was to be killed and the flesh to be eaten raw by the queen and the priestesses, which they believed impregnated them. Gradually the male counterpart intoxicated with the possible power and of course fearing death, by years of cunning procrastination of the ritual each time reasoning the substitute of a young male in his stead rose to supreme power. Later the young male was yet again substituted by animal sacrifice. And hence ages empowered the male cunning and female was gradually suppressed into servitude, which lead to the current degradation faced by the gender. I've often heard...

Life… the term is a possession that humanity believes to be its own!  But look around.. Life is not just humans but also rest of the beings that breathe and grow. We are well aware that when we are in a system we have to be an active participant in all its activities: in a society, in an institution, in a group, in a country, everywhere man is on a run to prove to be the best among the group. The best participant worthy of praises… But are we truly an active participant to the life around us? The answer is most probably a big “YES” which arrogantly echoes in your mind right now. Well the answer is so very wrong. If you live in a society, belong to a group, score well for your institution, make your family proud, contribute to the income, contribute to the state and so on why is that humanity always finds it comfortable to forget that we live on Earth?? We are Terrestrials, living beings of the planet named “Terra” a.k.a Earth? We forget to be that active participant on Earth. How...

It is often strange that we feel alone most of the time. Not because there is none near us, but because we are convinced that we are strangers to people around us. Often when we are surrounded by family or friends we realize that we don't belong there... How queer, but that's just our mind pretending to be to be neglected or perhaps our lonely self that repels every external attempt of coming closer to us! We want to be alone, but we need company too!! Man is such a confusing being... The secret to living is not in feeling alone when you have company and wanting company when you are alone... Life is best the other way around. To simply listen to people, to speak something silly, being along and being present at the given moment, and when alone just relaxing the mind, listening to the calm, breathing in the peace and letting loose yourself for your mind to wander free the wild... I have noticed during my lonely walks that I often  feel the need of company, my heart sags when ...

Often it happens that a single moment in our life gets inundated by a multitude of incidents and a myriad of acquaintances and near and dear ones and henceforth we miss certain small but wonderful moments in life. There comes certain unnoticed but worthy details of life that we yearn to think back but fail, yearn to reach back to the past to relive the moment and to rediscover things. But it is beyond our power to challenge the flow of time. It simply slithers away from our grip. Our little eyes and well-trained ears might have left out many things worthy to be noticed but too frail or vague to be noticed and the  time simply sweeps away its traces as soon as the opportunity is lost. A blink of the eye and we have already lost a second of our time! It always shocks me that the temporariness of time is permanent . How paradoxical!  Thinking again, this permanent temporariness is a petulance that have stricken every life on earth. It is permanent that days pass, but each passi...

The Rights to Education in Ancient India are still a hot debate topic for the advocates of humanity. Even I have been intimidated by the discrimination the ancient Indians showed to the lower classes by denying them any education that was beyond their circle of skill or living.  Only the Kshathriyas and Brahmins were allowed the privilege of higher education. But by analyzing the living conditions and intellect of the age it is livid that basic education was provided to all, like basic arithmetic and life science.  Then why the discrimination in providing higher education? The reason was always  simple. In ancient India the most difficult of all arts was the art of archery. This was the highest and toughest art to be mastered as the sharp and sleek weapon fired off from a distance can hit the spot only with the trained knowledge of aligning the arrow and pu lling back the string in perfect angle to the blowing wind or moving target and a miss of the target can easil...

From tender years, toddler to teenage The world beckons the young as inexperienced babes, May a few dozen years pass Let age win over all our past And yet the world finds the youth Naïve, young bohemian uncouth!             Brains yet blooming from tiny buds, And hearts yet to learn beats and thuds May the physique shape up or education tone one To prove to us your maturity is to marry someone.             If so, can we marry a body suitable to sleep with? Oh! Yes that’s easy, the family will tally height, weight and width.             But can we marry a soul of our choice?             Ah, what joke! Beat your love to fall for the person your family poise.             But can’t we ...